My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize