suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
