when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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