new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
