it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
