Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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