Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
