Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize