So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
