i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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