i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
