He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I could make wine with my vomit
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
