I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
