You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you still have your period?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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