It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize