Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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