Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?