it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes