sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
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I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.