Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol