on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
