im drinking this country out of the recession.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
