I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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