Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
