Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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