we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
