I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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