Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
