dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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