I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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