I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I stole a fireplace last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
