Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
