I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
