He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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