My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
