i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
