Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i now understand why vodka
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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