Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
