how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
