i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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