im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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