The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
