somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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