Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I need help removing her.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My cat gives me a boner
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
