i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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