hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
