Do you still have your period?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
