Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Houston, we have a blender
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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