She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
MIDGETS
????
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
