maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize