but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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