And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
