so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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