There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
