were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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