Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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