and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
