I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
