Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
