He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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