Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
