margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
