OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
