You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My balls are so social today.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
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