I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
