my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
