girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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