how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize